Sometimes being "naked" is what is required

This is typically a nudist centered blog. Today, there is a slight exception, a play on words if you will. This year has been among the most trying I have had to face for many many reasons. We often live our lives thinking we know somewhat of what to expect, what may be coming down the pipe and we aren't too surprised by certain outcomes. This year, I made some decisions to stand my ground, fighting for what I believed was best. Sadly, some of those things I fought so hard for, backfired right in my face.

When disappointment comes, especially out of the blue when you think it has NO right to even be there, well, that's tough to deal with and overcome. This year I've had my life turned upside down, literally. Family trouble, health issues, 2 random small fires at the house, car trouble, job upheaval, you name it. It has really pushed me to the brink. Beyond my unwelcomed problems, my poor mother has had an equally full plate to contend with. My grandmother is 94 years of age and her health has been rapidly declining this year. My mother has been her caregiver and also caregiver to my grandfather who passed away a couple of years ago. Her life has been put totally on hold for the better part of 10 years now. She stays with my grandmother a good 22 hours per day, 7 days a week, with no help, no break. She is exhausted mentally, physically, emotionally, wondering constantly, "am I doing enough." Of course she is! Days get better, then worse, then way worse with no end in sight. My mother has had to keep up a big house for the past 20 yrs since my Dad passed. It is a huge undertaking. Since moving to the current house, our old house has sat vacant. I've worked on it quite a lot this year preparing it for Mom to move there sometime in the near future. She can't or won't totally move until Grandma passes out of respect for her situation. I get that and admire her loyalty. So in addition to her big house, being caregiver, working at our old house doing things she wants to have done, my mother is spread way too thin. 

What can you expect when you are doing way too much? Exhaustion, depression, divided interests?

All of the above. There is a beauty in having expectations. Where we fail is in not knowing when it is okay to step aside and regroup, ask for help, and be willing to change our expectations. My mother is a very stubborn, prideful woman. Good hearted to a fault. She will literally kill herself trying to please and help others. I am much the same way. So back to my year. Without going into detail, I now live alone for the time being, am not working, bills are very tight, health issues still are a daily concern. Cars are both older and falling apart with daily use, dogs are having issues with health and well being. It is a mess. So what can I do about any or all of this?  Well, here is where being naked is what is required. Now you guys and gals are smart. You know that I am not referring to an actually naked state of undress, right? Ha. As much as I do live that way, I am speaking of being naked, vulnerable, susceptible to changes, humility, saying I'm sorry, welcoming positive change. 

Just as a person can by timid, shy or hesitant in literally being naked, so are we when it comes to our behavior, attitude, and accepting the need for changes. It is uncomfortable the first few times you have to do it or when you haven't had to make those type of changes and admittances in years and years. That is where I have found myself the past several months. Errors in judgment, being stagnant and resistant to opinions and ideas that were not mine, and just being a stubborn ass have haunted me. Over the past month or so, I have realized my need to make positive changes in my life. From eating better, being more active again, exercising, opening my mind and heart to new ideas/concepts, admitting wrong and failure, all of these have led to a true change in my personal demeanor. People around me have begun to notice these changes for the good and are happy along with me. 

The whole point of becoming naked in these ways, is to expand yourself beyond borders of your own making. Moving being the limitations you yourself have created over the years can and likely will expose you to new things that can truly be healing and joyous. I am there now. I've had to say I'm sorry to some people. I have had to admit I don't know it all every day. I have had to accept criticism, counsel and chastising. Now I'm not saying just bow down and take any beating that comes from people who disagree with you. Not at all! It is paramount to stand up for yourself and what you believe in. BUT at the same time, learn to recognize those who are on your side, who want you to succeed and be an even better you. Those are the people who you should be open to their wisdom and spankings.

It is perfectly okay as human being to BE wrong now and then. What you do with that is up to you. I have chosen to swallow pride and admit that I can be wrong, I have been wrong, and to work hard to improve and learn from my being wrong this year. In doing this, I have begun to relearn who I am and what is truly important. It is amazing what we can learn when we open ourselves up in a naked way emotionally, physically, psychologically, spiritually. The path ahead becomes limitless  and full of untapped potential and blessing. Just today, I was able to meet with a company representative with a company that buys homes. Within 3 hours of meeting this very educated, professional younger woman, she sent my mother a cash offer for her big house. Contract has been signed and her house will be closed on in February. The stress, delay, worry is now over for her. I could not be happier. Sure there is a sadness saying goodbye to a home with rich history, memories and decades of life within its walls, but there is also the welcoming of a new chapter to yet be written. 

Not only am I thrilled for my mother right now with this off of her plate, I am also excited for me as well. You see, mother had told me, once her house sells, she is going to pay me for our old house. So with that money, I get to shop for a new truck which I desperately need! I know, that may not be as important to some, but for me, nursing a 16 year old vehicle along is exhausting and expensive. Having reliable, nice, appropriate for my needs truck is pretty darn important. Yes, I admit, I'm a little selfish wishing I didn't have to wait another 2 months but in reality, I am very blessed she is willing to pay me for the old house. 

To wrap this post up, let me say a couple of things. I can stand bare before most people whom I trust and admit things, be totally honest and transparent. Is it always easy? Heck no it's not. But it is necessary in not only maintaining those relationships, but also in fostering, growing and allowing those relationships new opportunities to deepen. We all need people in our lives who are on our side through thick and thin. Granted some people don't have that in their life. To them I say, stay the course, remain positive and be the best you that you can be. They will come. Like in the movie The Field of Dreams, Ray was told, "if you build it they will come" and come they did. Same applies. 

No one knows what tomorrow will bring. It could be disaster or it could be unparalleled blessing. Be willing to be "naked" and open to all that life affords, the bad and the good. Attitude determines our Altitude!!  Go be well, be the real you, cast off any mask that you wear, and embrace the goodness within you and those who love you.